old memories

Reliving the past can be a horrible experience, but sometimes we have to go through it to put things to rest, or to enable someone else to do that. I have expierenced this again recently following a contact through friends reunited.

My first job was in a home for teenage girls in Gravesend, Kent. It was not a good place to be - at all. They had terrible ways to "deal with the girls behaviour". I left several years before the place was closed down, and spent most of that time trying to find a new job with no qualifications and no other experience. In the end I re-trained as a secretary and tried to put the horrors behind me.

I put the house down as a "workplace" on friends reunited years ago, in the hope that one of the girls would get back to me and confirm that at least some of them had come out of it all intact.
At last someone did. Her name is Teresa and she has set up a website for survivors of abuse - www.no2abuse.com She is writing a book about her experiences there and wanted to know some of the story from a staff's viewpoint. Recording and recalling some of that stuff has been powerful and scary.

She has spent years researching what really went on there, most of which I had no idea about. I would love to see the files she has got hold of. Apparently the book is coming out sometime in the new year. I'll keep you posted.

Big Steps

Callie has graduated.

She had her last day at Babywood Nursery on 1 September and in the evening they had a graduation party where they all came up to the stage (complete with cap and gown) to collect their certificate and have photos taken. It was quite a sad time. She's been at that nursery since she was just a few months old, and they have been so good to her there. She has got really attached to them to, because most of the staff have been there since well before she started. She left saying that she would come back and visit them. We will.

Callie is now at Big Nursery. We've been going on about it for so long. "In September you'll be a big girl and you'll be going to the big nursery at Barford School."

Callie always asks in the morning what day it is - just checking we know. On September 1 I told her and said it was the first day of September. She stood up on our bed with her hands right up in the air. "Are we in September now mummy?" "Yes" "But I don't touch the ceiling."

First day at full time nursery went smoothly and although I stayed for about 1/2 hr to see her settled in and to make sure she knew where everything was, she didn't really need me. She loved it, and came back covered in stickers. They score really high on the priase and positive discipline bit at that school.

Her day also went amazingly cleanly. Her white blouse stayed white, and the jumper only had a little splodge of something that dabbed off easily with a damp cloth. Bless her. Day 2 (today) wasn't quite so spotless, but I am still very impressed. She never came back from her old nursery without being covered in dinner. I don't know how they keep her so clean, but their efforts are greatly appreciated. Well done Barford. Callie is well impressed with her new school.

Having said that at the moment there are only dozen or so of them in there. That's about the number she was used to at her old nursery. The nursery she is now in has 60 places, but they start the children a few at a time to let them settle in before the next batch arrive. Apparently they won't be at full capacity until nearly the end of September. Let's see how it goes when she's competing with all that lot!

Greenbelt

We're back from Greenbelt.

It was good, but it turned out very different for me than I was expecting. First off I had never imagined how long we would have to stand in queues waiting to get Callie into the children's festival. I'm sure last year we just went straight in. This year the queues were enormous. On one morning I queued over 40 mins just to get a ticket to be sure of getting in, so I didn't have to stand in another queue later only to be disappointed!!?? If you add to that the queues to get into the venues you have a lot of waiting around. We also had a lot of mud and some quite heavy rain. Fortunately I managed to not be in queues during any downpours.

I had some lovely times with the children of a friend from way back, who I had only met briefly at Greenbelt last year. Callie quickly made friends with Pearl (5) and Robin (3), and we left with promises to visit each other. That's what Greenbelt's about. Brining people back together.

More by "chance" than judgement I ended up going to talks rather than music. God seems to be saying a lot at the moment about inclusion in the church. How can we be relevant to the people around us, and help them to find God in a way that is meaningful in their everyday lives? How can we get churches together to show the neighbourhood what Jesus meant when he talked about us being one? I really don't think that means having big meetings together to prove that we can literally sing from the same hymn sheet.

I came back with more questions than answers. But perhaps that's what God's about. How else can he make sure we rely on him step by step and don't run off on our own and muck it all up?

Publisher

Well, this is it. The holiday between jobs is over and my new life awaits. Callie started nursery full time yesterday and I start my new job tomorrow.

Today however I am left with a dilemma. I am trying to open documents I produced at work on Publisher. But that I don't have publisher at home. I really don't think that is a good enough excuse to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a DTP package when I've just taken a cut in salary. If anybody happens to be flying past this blog and reads it, can you let me know where I can get something cheaper that will open Publisher files and works well?

The Power-point of God Unto Salvation?

My husband recently posted a blog about the emerging church and a comment the blog ended “The word of God, not power-point or flashy music is God's power unto salvation.” Good point. When we find a fun and exciting method of communication it is easy to get caught up in showing it off and letting people see how clever we are with it. Or not as the case may be. A badly done power point presentation is even more distracting. It is easy in either situation for the Word of God to be completely lost, or presented in such a way that it becomes a side issue for most people watching.

But with practice it is not hard to create a presentation that will compliment and enhance the message we are getting across. As I understand it the emerging church is about being culturally relevant, just as Jesus was in his day. Let’s use every tool at our disposal to make sure that God’s word is presented in a way that the people we are talking to will understand and enjoy, so that what they will remember will be the message and not the messenger.

All Change

My dad told me once that his mother's family can be traced back to the Romany tradition. I find it very easy to believe this, and have been saying for ages that I'd love to have time to find out more about it.

I guess it is because of this is that I hate being cooped up indoors and get "itchy feet" very easily. If things stay the same for too long I have to make something change. Often though, as now, change comes just at the right time without too much prompting from me.

Actually I thought it would be nice to move house, but we can't afford that so I'd given up on the idea of a major change. In September Callie starts nursery full time, which she is really looking forward too. I've also decided to re-start my studies with Open University. Perhaps that should be enough changes to be getting on with.

Anyway another, unprompted, change has just come my way, which will have a big impact on all of this. I told a friend "I've got to tell you before you hear this from anyone else" and she said "You're pregnant" - No, I'm not. But my job is going. The post I am in is not funded any more, and the charity I work for is redeploying me to it's regional office. It's about an hour's travel each way (as opposed to 20 mins walk) and I will be only working 2 days a week.

My initial reaction was to start job hunting again, but I' don't think that's what God wants. There is certainly nothing around that would suit me any better. There will be some challenges in the job, but all within the comfort of the sort of admin work I've done on and off for donkey's years. Anyway, even that job's only funded 'till March, so I'll take the opportunity to top up my experience in fund raising and data management until then. It fits in perfectly with Callie's new timetable. We are currently trying to work out how to cover the drop in salary, but it should be possible.

It could all be quite exciting actually. What will God have for me to do with that "spare time"?

Safe in the Father’s Hands

Its taken me a long time to get this blogspot started, so my first blog is already at least a month old. What does that say for the future?

Anyway here it is.

I’ve been thinking for a long time about starting a blog, but I’m not sure I’ll have time to keep it up. I’ve just, for the first time, edited one of my husband’s and realised it’s not so bad being out there in black & white for all to see. So I decided to start.

Events in our road recently made me realise how much we rely on God’s protection.

My three year old daughter, Callie, and I had only been gardening for about half an hour on Tuesday when I decided to stop for a cuppa. This is very unusual. I do the garden very infrequently, but when I do there’s so much that needs doing that I’m usually out there for a good couple of hours non-stop. Anyway, we came in and while I was making the tea I heard what I thought was kids letting off caps. About an hour later, as we sat down for lunch, I noticed there was a policewoman standing at the end of our garden. I went out to investigate and found that half our road had been cordoned off . She explained that we couldn’t go out as they were in the middle of a scene of crime investigation and a bullet had been found just outside our garden gate.

We have a very small garden! Two men had been shot right outside our house. What if we had stayed out gardening for longer?

I wonder how many other things God has kept us safe from this week without me knowing anything about it? Psalm 91 says:-

1“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2This I declare of the LORD:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I am trusting him.

3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from the fatal plague.

4 He will shield you with his wings.
He will shelter you with his feathers.
His faithful promises are your armour and protection.”

I just thank God that he cares for us so much.